Sad

It's finally the weekend, after what has seemed like a very long week. Between Mia's hospitialization and Isaiah's impaction problems and then the problems getting a decent antibiotic that Mia can actually take...it's just been...well...stressful.
And I wish I could say that ONLY this week has been stressful, but the truth is, life with this many children, and this many small children is almost constantly stressful. Beautiful. But stressful.
This hasn't been the greatest summer. Don't get me wrong- there have been plenty of high points and great times. But overall, I'm ready for summer to end.
Albert and I are going through a bit of a rough spot right now. We just seem to be constantly unhappy with each other. Unhappy with each others' decisions. Unhappy with each others' words, or thoughts or feelings. It's just one of those things, I guess. After fifteen years together, we've ridden out these rough patches enough to know that it will pass. It will get better. It always does. And we've certainally been through rougher waters than this. But just the same- I miss my best friend. I don't like being at odds with him so often- and I know he doesn't either. It takes a toll...a big one, on both of us. I don't like disagreeing over silly things. Things that shouldn't be an issue. Yet we both tend to dig our heels in, really deep and we both are stubborn. He can be sneaky, and I can be spiteful...you get the picture. And yet, I love him more than anything in the world, and I know that he feels the same way about me. And we're committed to our marriage and our family. But tonight, I feel sad. I feel sad that we've gotten so distant somehow, and that its happened so fast. Sad that we just can't seem to understand where each other is coming from. Sad that we are the cause of each others' sadness. And sad because I just want my best friend back.
Our kids can feel the tension and Brandon keeps asking if we are okay. And we keep telling him we are. Because in the long run, we are. Even if not at this exact moment.
Maybe this isn't the greatest material for blogging- but it's our life and it wouldn't be real if I only blogged about the good stuff. But I miss the good stuff. I hope that maybe this weekend will be a start.