Isaiah starts pre-school on Monday. It's a special education program. I have very conflicted feelings about it. On one hand, I know he needs it. His speech is still very unclear most of the time (he's three years old), he has obvious sensory issues and is sometimes just "off". His behavior is very "young" for his age, even young compared to Sydney, who, I know is a girl, but is also a year younger. When Alexandria (Isaiah's twin) and Sydney play, Isaiah is often left behind, unable to play with things in the ways that the girls play with them. Not all the time. Not even most of the time. But often enough.
I am glad that he'll get the services that can help him. I am sad because, well, I just don't think that a a non-verbal, delayed three year old should be away from his mother, in a school-like setting. I think at three, that his complete care is still my job, and I want my job. I don't want to give it away to someone else. Yet, I also know I can't help him like the staff at his school can. At least not as effectively.
So Monday afternoon, the bus will come to get him. This weekend, we'll buy him a new backpack and the things his teacher mentioned that he'll need. He is in the afternoon class. So really, it works out okay- he has pretty much grown out of nap anyhow and spends much of nap time watching television or playing with toys in his room. I guess its good timing.
I'll take lots of pictures of him on Monday. I am hoping he won't be afraid. We are talking about it, but its pretty tough for me to tell how much he is understanding, how much he is processing, or how much he is just nodding along. I guess we'll see Monday.
Stalked by the Stork...a diary of raising twelve kids
Friday, January 29, 2010
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3 comments:
All will be fine Angela. Keep talking about it and make it something special. He gets to be like his brothers and go to school. The girls don't get to to that.
He will be scared, looking out the window of the bus with those huge brown eyes. Wave and smile and blow kisses until the bus is gone. Then you can cry. But, you don't need me to tell you that. Just like your heart breaks for him, mine breaks for you. Letting go is never easy. But remember, this will make it so much better for him when he starts kindergarten.
Love you lots!
Mom
I will pray for you! I understand your fears and your longing to keep him with you. It sounds like he will really benefit from the services he will receive. Just keep reminding yourself that you are doing the best for him! Monday will be a bittersweet day, but he will do great. It will get easier. I agree with your mom, just make it something really special that he gets to do like his big brothers and hopefully he will embrace it.
My heart goes out to you, as a mom and a spec ed teacher. You're giving him an opportunity that will have the power to change the course of his life; children who get speech help early on are MUCH more likely to be successful in life, so just keep telling yourself that. (But I do get the "but I want to be all he needs right now" part; I really do, because on a lot of levels, you are:)
Drawn to your blog when I saw it at Who Says 8 is Enough (I'm one of nine :)
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